sometimes i wonder if everything i tried to write on fb was ever seen by you. i know its not a good way to try and get someone’s attention but if i tried talking to you irl we’ll just end up quarreling again. i’m like a bad person. i do like all the bad things. i’m just pretending to be good. i literally have no dreams of my own. i try to make up my own, but in the end all my dreams revolves around fulfilling someone else’s dreams. i just want to be recognised… i have a dream of getting a 6-pointer in o’s. tho i doubt i can make it. still, i’m afraid if i don’t get it i’ll have nothing. you know? i already have nothing… i don’t have anything… i only have my grades… if i don’t even have that i have nothing. next year is going to be tough. sibs moving out. i don’t know la hoh. i feel as though i don’t have a family sometimes. i sit in my room and i stare into space and think and think and think. my brothers buy exp stuff for their wives/gfs and they never buy anything for my mom. they complain about her… i don’t like it. its as though they’re “tolerating” her. Don’t they see that they shouldn’t do that in front of me? I’m a kid. Don’t they know what they do is influencing me? and i flare up so easily these days. feel so moody and bitter now. so many things pile up.. i watched the show “We bought a zoo” today… i still can’t stand it when other people has their loved ones passed away too. reminds me of my own. yeah, i haven’t gotten past that. I’ve been trying, i swear. But when things just go wrong, i just think back on the times when they were almost perfect, with my dad. i never had to impress him. he just accepted me the way i was. he almost never raised his voice at me. never accused me… maybe he did, but i don’t remember. everytime we’ll have debates about life stuff in front of the tv… watching drama together. i know i keep recalling back the times… but i can’t stand it. i miss him so much. i don’t know why i can’t let it go. i really don’t. bitter.
i feel so bitter.
-shz
hyperactivekidshz 
nah you dont have to get 6 pointer in order to be great you know? even if you got below 10 points, your grades are still good mah! ;D plus you don’t only have your grades, you have your friends who care for you (you know who they are 😛 )
and of cos, getting 6 points for o is every student’s wish and if you got it, i’ll treat you to mac or kfc! ^^ anyway, even if you didnt manage to get it, dont worry, because that’s not over neither is it the end. some people dont even have good grades and they can still make it big in life. example: albert einstein dropped out from college i think, adam khoo became a millionaire with a PSLE aggregate of 190+ i think? steve jobs got rejected so many times before being the CEO of Apple. all these are real life examples that it doesnt mean you cant make it just because your studies arent great. (LOL im relying on this so-called self comfort XD) but u get the idea of what im trying to say dont you? 😛
dont worry yeah? you still have me! ❤ i always sit in my room stare at com screen one LOL. anyway i know it's hard to let go, it always takes time, but one day you will be able to move on with strength and courage de! ^^
dont be like bittergourd, not good. XD must be like cotton candy! sweet and yummy! LOLLLLLLL. okie im crapping just ignore.
just rmb that grades dont necessarily determine your future. no one knows what's going to happen next, so just take a step at a time! (:
heyy..thing’s indeed hav been tough on u uhh..ure not the bad guy, u juz happen to b labelled one bcos others wan to b the ‘good guy’. so dun care abt tt..juz noe tt wad u do is not against ur conscience and tt u r fine wit it..tts all tt matters. missing ur dad & cant seem to get over it is alright..as i’ve always said, he will always b dere for u eventho u tink he’s not..and he will always b in ur heart 🙂 juz lik the movie, the guy moved on, but he will nvr forget his wife..if u ever feel lik ure losing ur dad..juz look in the mirror & u’ll see a part of him reflected on u. U r his beloved daughter & will always b his sweetheart 🙂
p.s : my phone is spoilt, so i cant sms or call for the time being 😦 cheer up k? u can contact me via fb !