I was wondering for awhile if i should make a new blog to blog about my SEP times. But i got a bit lazy so i decided to just make a new category. So i’m counting down to the day when i fly off. I feel rather nervous actually, flying alone. I’ll be lying if i said i wasn’t a tad afraid. I am. I’m very afraid. On one hand i feel excited to be away from home, looking at the world outside of Singapore. I feel happy to once again be staying on my own (if you haven’t, you should try), because i’ve missed the times where i’ve just been in a room, without anyone else. It’s scary at times, yes. But also peaceful, and it’s nice to know the things you put at once place actually stays there. There’s also less drama (because as you can tell, my family is very dramatic. Like seriously), so i’m glad for that. But on the other hand, i’ll really miss my family, my nieces and nephews, even my dramatic over-the-top mother.
I’m also worried because going on SEP is expensive. I’m not kidding about that. Budgetting is a pain. Both in the process of planning and my wallet. I’m also a teeny tad worried about the weather, because it’s going to be cold. And of course i worry about whether or not i’ll fit in, or just be alone for 4 whole months. How could i not? I’m glad i’m going alone though, because that means i’ll be forced to talk and mingle with people, without the option of going back to my friends. Friends are great, but they’re also reasons why i’ll stay in my comfort zone.
I’m also probably going to be travelling on my own. Something new. Something that i hope allows me to understand myself better, my thought processes, and further (hopefully) control my emotions and carry myself better. I’m sad to say i don’t quite like who i am now. I’m out of control emotionally. Emotionally ruled. Not a good thing. I also care too much about what others think, or not think.
I shall stop thinking for now.
-shz
Burrow deep, my feelings.
hyperactivekidshz 